we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
