Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
