You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
