Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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