GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
