pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
