My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize