I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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