There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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