She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
