how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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