Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize