He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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