You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
