you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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