I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
