my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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