You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
