I just threw up on my dentist
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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