I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
