Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
