she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
