Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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