I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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