Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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