omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm getting married
To pizza
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
