she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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