Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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