every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
