if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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