this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
