god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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