Already got asked if we're dating
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
