Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
