That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
