i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
