How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Too much gin, very little bucket
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
