I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
