You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
