The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
