THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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