That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
