life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
