I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
