she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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