Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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