dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
