Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
