When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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