Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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