He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
