I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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