We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
