We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize