What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
