was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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