Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
