Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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