Already got asked if we're dating
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
