the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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