all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize