Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
