return my video game
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
