this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
