is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
