New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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