Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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